My body is trying to kill me...

Ok. So. Everyone knows or will know shortly, that ladies have a "special" time of the month. It's not really that "special" more like maniacal serial killer but I digress. Ladies also have a brief time before MSK time called lets trick her into wanting a baby time. Our bodies do this traitorous thing where it's released an egg(pre baby baby) and your hormones go bananas and trick you into NEEDING sexy time(sex, duh).

Now for someone like me who(to be brief) neeeeeevvvvveeer wants kids, this is a tricky time.

My hormones go absolutely BERSERK and try to trick my brain into thinking we want children.

Every single time.

It's ludicrous. 

I daydream of slobbering infants all cute and chubby with my husbands eyes and my hair color.

EWWWW.

I think if names and if conception were successful, which month he/she would be born.

YIKES.

It's horrible and terrible and any other word ending in ble.

Ugh.

Knock, Knock.

I was very much opposed to love my whole life.
I expressly believed I would never marry.
I distinctly believe I will never have children.

So far, I have married and subsequently fallen in love(or so I think). ::shrug::

Now that this love business is flitting about I find myself being put off by things that are rather silly.

For instance. My husband made a tumblr about a month ago. I have recently(15 minutes ago) logged on to said site and looked up his page. It is a nice page, lots of nice pictures and short blurbs about his day.

All of that is just fine. The bit that twerked me was his description. It mentions not word one of me or his relationship state.  I was am irritated.

Like I said silly.

I don't mean for him to shout it from the roof tops(pinky promise) nor do I mean to be the first and last thing he talks about.

I dunno. Mayhap shark week is coming up.

Plus I am a female prone to flights of flancy(spelled correctly as it is an inside joke).

Ugh.

Again with the Children

I really cannot begin to express how very glad I am not to have children.
I can sleep when and wherever I want.
I can eat wherever and whenever I want.
I can spend my money whenever and however I want.
Mostly, I can sleep however long I want.
I love sleep. Sleep is nice.
I don't have to get a sitter for date nights nor do I have to drag my kid along when a sitter is unavailable.

I have been seeing articles over the last year or so about child free theaters and eateries. I think it's brilliant. I would love to go to a movie or dinner JUST ONCE where there wasn't a crying infant or overly sugared child running amok.

Of course the people who are against these types of places are parents who think THEIR child is always a joy and pleasure to be around. Riiiiiiight.

In my opinion child free diners and theaters are like smoke free diners and theaters. Not everyone wants or needs to be physically or mentally assaulted by YOUR personal choice. We respect your choices therefore you should respect ours.

Fifty Shades of Tedious

Good grief!

Let me start by saying that originally I was super super apprehensive about reading this trilogy. I went online and read the reviews and the majority of the reviews were negative. Not just regular negative but some had bullet points and a friggin slide show. ::I may have exaggerated that last bit but it sure seemed that way::
I didn't know much about the books save that there miiight have been some sex in them... ;0) So reading the reviews put it into a much clearer picture. The leading lady was an imbecile who has an inner goddess that says jeez a lot. Or was that her sub-conscience? Or her? I dunno.

Any way people pretty much hated the book(s) saying they were poorly written and quite a lot of them also said it was a rip off of another very popular vampire book set/movie.. ::cough:: Twilight ::cough::

Needless to say after reading the reviews I was not beating down any doors to get this book. Fast forward a few months(and me finding out a way to get it for free) and wa-la I've started reading them.

At first it didn't seem so bad. Ana was a tad annoying & Mr. Grey was an asshole and the sex was kinda hot.

By the time I got to the third book, however, I was skipping the tedious sex scenes all together(ah!) and I kept resisting the urge to want to strangle Ana. (as if I really could but whateves)

In my honest opinion, if you took out all the sex scenes(too many) this trilogy could have easily been one book. Seriously.

If you need sex in your life that bad, read em. If you want a good read, skip em. You won't be missing anything.