My body is trying to kill me...

Ok. So. Everyone knows or will know shortly, that ladies have a "special" time of the month. It's not really that "special" more like maniacal serial killer but I digress. Ladies also have a brief time before MSK time called lets trick her into wanting a baby time. Our bodies do this traitorous thing where it's released an egg(pre baby baby) and your hormones go bananas and trick you into NEEDING sexy time(sex, duh).

Now for someone like me who(to be brief) neeeeeevvvvveeer wants kids, this is a tricky time.

My hormones go absolutely BERSERK and try to trick my brain into thinking we want children.

Every single time.

It's ludicrous. 

I daydream of slobbering infants all cute and chubby with my husbands eyes and my hair color.

EWWWW.

I think if names and if conception were successful, which month he/she would be born.

YIKES.

It's horrible and terrible and any other word ending in ble.

Ugh.

Knock, Knock.

I was very much opposed to love my whole life.
I expressly believed I would never marry.
I distinctly believe I will never have children.

So far, I have married and subsequently fallen in love(or so I think). ::shrug::

Now that this love business is flitting about I find myself being put off by things that are rather silly.

For instance. My husband made a tumblr about a month ago. I have recently(15 minutes ago) logged on to said site and looked up his page. It is a nice page, lots of nice pictures and short blurbs about his day.

All of that is just fine. The bit that twerked me was his description. It mentions not word one of me or his relationship state.  I was am irritated.

Like I said silly.

I don't mean for him to shout it from the roof tops(pinky promise) nor do I mean to be the first and last thing he talks about.

I dunno. Mayhap shark week is coming up.

Plus I am a female prone to flights of flancy(spelled correctly as it is an inside joke).

Ugh.

Again with the Children

I really cannot begin to express how very glad I am not to have children.
I can sleep when and wherever I want.
I can eat wherever and whenever I want.
I can spend my money whenever and however I want.
Mostly, I can sleep however long I want.
I love sleep. Sleep is nice.
I don't have to get a sitter for date nights nor do I have to drag my kid along when a sitter is unavailable.

I have been seeing articles over the last year or so about child free theaters and eateries. I think it's brilliant. I would love to go to a movie or dinner JUST ONCE where there wasn't a crying infant or overly sugared child running amok.

Of course the people who are against these types of places are parents who think THEIR child is always a joy and pleasure to be around. Riiiiiiight.

In my opinion child free diners and theaters are like smoke free diners and theaters. Not everyone wants or needs to be physically or mentally assaulted by YOUR personal choice. We respect your choices therefore you should respect ours.

Fifty Shades of Tedious

Good grief!

Let me start by saying that originally I was super super apprehensive about reading this trilogy. I went online and read the reviews and the majority of the reviews were negative. Not just regular negative but some had bullet points and a friggin slide show. ::I may have exaggerated that last bit but it sure seemed that way::
I didn't know much about the books save that there miiight have been some sex in them... ;0) So reading the reviews put it into a much clearer picture. The leading lady was an imbecile who has an inner goddess that says jeez a lot. Or was that her sub-conscience? Or her? I dunno.

Any way people pretty much hated the book(s) saying they were poorly written and quite a lot of them also said it was a rip off of another very popular vampire book set/movie.. ::cough:: Twilight ::cough::

Needless to say after reading the reviews I was not beating down any doors to get this book. Fast forward a few months(and me finding out a way to get it for free) and wa-la I've started reading them.

At first it didn't seem so bad. Ana was a tad annoying & Mr. Grey was an asshole and the sex was kinda hot.

By the time I got to the third book, however, I was skipping the tedious sex scenes all together(ah!) and I kept resisting the urge to want to strangle Ana. (as if I really could but whateves)

In my honest opinion, if you took out all the sex scenes(too many) this trilogy could have easily been one book. Seriously.

If you need sex in your life that bad, read em. If you want a good read, skip em. You won't be missing anything.

Oh birth month...

So folks here we are July 29th the last weekend in July.

My birthday was a week ago, kudos if you can do math, and it was a good day. Yet it always reminds me of how short life really is.
Presumably I am half way through my life, if I live to be 62. THAT freaks me out big time. Super duper humongous big big time. Big time.

I am so petrified of death, I think I think about it every couple of days. I think about The Husband dying, my family, friends. It's ridiculous. I can't help it though. My brain just.... Sigh.

So, I am another year closer to death. Yay me.

P.S. 146 days till Christmas.

No kids for YOU!!

So blog world, I have come to the conclusion that I never want to embark into parenthood.

Never ever nuh uh you can't make me.

Hell to the no.

No thank you sir.

No. No. NO.

I hate kids. I hate all kids. Especially ones that can talk and move around.

Yuck.

I don't like them. They are like adults only mini.

I knew I didn't want kids from the beginning. Yep. I came out and thought, that was awful. Put me back in. Wait. Never mind, I'll just hang out out here she looks pissed.

Seriously though. In high school when we all started to have sex I thought wow, this is great. Then a few months later a girlfriend of mine told me she was pregnant. I actually asked her; "With a baby"?
Needless to say, that and watching her stomach stretch to near explodey size convinced me that I never ever wanted to go through that mess. Oh but yum, the messy crap would come later.
So yea, I've known since roughly 15, that I did not want to be a mother.

Then I met and married my husband.

I told him before we were married that I didnt want kids. He was fine with it. Or so I thought.
Fast forward 3 years and it is still a topic that is broached at least once a year.

This year was different. I told him in no uncertain terms, I will never have a kid. Nothing about parenthood is even slightly appealing. Not a single thing. Not the crying, pooping, drooling, talking non stop, money suckingness, attitude. Ugh. I could go on.

I've been successfully not pregnant for 16 years. Here's to 20.

No Sleep for the Thoughtless...

It really does amaze me, the things that pop into my head at any given moment.

People go on about their ancestors being slaves but they tend to over look the fact that roughly 60% of the people who came off of a boat were slaves. Indentured or otherwise. People sold their children into servitude for hopes of a better life. Folks gave up decades of their life for the chance to step foot on American soil. Not every one was a Plantation owner or an Estate holder.

I digress.

No one likes to look past their own soapbox.

No one really likes to bring up these kinds of topics.  I don't know why. Well, maybe I do but I'll feign ignorance with the rest of 'em.

Happy Friday the 13th.

Whats a "Heading" anyway?

Once again I have decided to pick up pen and paper.....wait. No. 

Once again I have decided to take to the internets to write type my inner most thoughts and whatsits.
Be prepared(or scared) for whats to come. Be on the lookout for lots of strikeouts(I love these), plenty of made up words, lots of brackets(?)(if that is what they are called) annnnd whatever other whozits I decided to rant on about...

Currently I am mortified upon reading my other blogging attempts. Boy oh boy are those dumb. (picture me smirking to myself whilst shaking my head in agreeance(made up word alert? Spell check is going bonkers right now) with myself, so, so sad). Are we even allowed to put brackets within brackets? Hmm. Dunno.

So yeah. I am an ill trained writer who thinks she has the below bits to write blog deals.. Haha, I bet actual writer will blow a gasket reading this drivel.

Welcome all to the mostly daily musings of me, Yours Truly.